In the rural areas just outside Bangkok, most folks keep one or more dogs. Dogs are useful in guarding property out here away from the protection of the city. On a walk yesterday through one of these rural areas, I accidentally wandered onto someone else’s land, and was confronted by her three snarling rotweilers. Out here, rotweilers have been known to kill their owners, never mind what they do to trespassers.
A few days earlier, my young daughter and I were in Chiang Mai, a city in northern Thailand. There’s a Buddhist temple high in the mountains overlooking the city, and we were exploring the grounds of this temple. There is a large balcony that gives a view of the city far below. My daughter was afraid to approach the balcony; though there is a railing all around it, the drop-off is steep, and she was afraid of going to the edge. It seems to me that her fear was not entirely unjustified; heights are something worth being afraid of.
Growling and barking, the rotweilers did not seem interested in merely chasing me off; I was in too deep, and had to be destroyed. They came at me side-by-side, the lead dog on the left end of the line. Hostile rotweilers, too, are something worth being afraid of, especially when one is alone and unarmed. It only takes one rotweiler to kill a man, and here I was facing three.
When small children are afraid of things like high balconies, we often tell them there is nothing to be afraid of, and we try to rationally explain away the fear. This, I think, is a mistake. First of all, there most certainly is something to be afraid of; heights are inherently dangerous. Secondly, cool rationality defeats fear only when one can contemplate dangers in a cool and disinterested manner; when one is in the grip of fear, the time for objective analysis is past. Third, we don’t win any points for invalidating our children’s feelings.
I told my daughter I was scared too. Though there was a protective railing, it was a startlingly steep drop, and even I felt some vague trepidation in approaching it. I told my daughter that it was okay that she was scared. And then I told her what we were going to do– we were going to walk up to the railing. She took my hand and decided that was okay.
Anybody who does not feel fear when confronted by three aggressive guard dogs is simply foolish. These animals can kill, and the death would be a bloody one. I have not been that scared in a long time. And then I told myself what I was going to do– I was going to snarl and shout at the dogs to let them know I was even fiercer than they were, and I was going to put all my weight on my left leg, with my knees somewhat bent and my right leg completely soft.
The lead dog approached, and with a snap my right foot cracked him in the jaw. Dogs, I learned once long ago, don’t really understand people’s feet. They often can’t see a kick coming, they don’t expect it, and they never quite figure out what it is. Feet are the best weapon against dogs. The lead dog backed off. With the lead dog unwilling to bite me, the other two hestitated to approach any closer. I prepared to kick the second dog, but he stepped out of range. The third dog never got close.
Once we reached the edge of the balcony, we saw that the drop was not nearly so severe as it had seemed from afar. My daughter propped herself up on her elbows and leaned over, fascinated by the tropical foliage all around us. The view of the city, ironically, was less interesting than the surrounding hillside.
The dogs’ owner quickly appeared and pulled the dogs in. They were very obedient animals, and the danger was neutralized. In an instant I converted from a snarling, ferocious beast into a civilized gentleman. I thanked this slight Thai woman for her help. I apologized for bumbling onto her land, and I left. My voice is pretty much gone this morning from all of yesterday’s shouting, but otherwise I was untouched by the incident.
So, I think we teach our children the wrong lesson when we try to tell them there is nothing to be afraid of. Sometimes there is something to be afraid of, sometimes any emotional response other than fear would be insane. We should teach them to accept fear; it is a perfectly natural reaction. But then we should teach them that there is an important difference between the emotions that we feel and the actions that we take. Being scared is okay, acting scared is not okay. We should act from reason and rationality– we should walk no farther than a safety railing, we should use kicks against dangerous dogs. These are the actions that will keep us safe, and they are motivated by rationality, not fear.
